To Go or Not to Go? One Tough Decision


by Debra DuPree Williams  @DDuPreeWilliams

That question comes up a lot during the busy holiday season. Do we pack up the kids, put the dog and cat in the kennel at no small expense? Do we drag out suitcases and clothes to last a week or two, or even a long weekend, for the entire family? Will the relatives have a washer? Does it still work? Is there room for all of us? What about when that relative comes for Christmas dinner? I don’t need to tell you who it is. We all have at least one.

I’m going to give you my thoughts on this. And remember, these belong to me. Formulate your own thoughts and opinions.

A Busy Life

Back in 2010, life got very busy for my husband and me. We had just sold our big family home, the one in which we had raised our four sons. The one which held the memories. We bought a condo and moved to the beach. We had a wedding, and a move, and a house full of guests, all in the same week.

After just a few months in our newly renovated beach home, we moved to northern Virginia to help with our two young granddaughters. I’ll spare you the details. Just know, it wasn’t a difficult decision. We kept the condo, just packed what we needed to set up housekeeping in our son’s and daughter-in-law’s home. Fast forward six months and our stay there came to an end. It was one of the most terrific, and rewarding, and tiring times of our lives and we wouldn’t trade one minute of those six months with our girls.

During this time, my Daddy was in a nursing home in south Alabama. Our condo was in the Tampa Bay area. For us, it was about a ten-hour trip. We’re not exactly spring chickens─we have to stop─a lot. My older sister lived just up the road a piece (about seventeen miles) from where Daddy was. We often went and stayed with her and her husband and drove down to see Daddy every day.

Then Daddy was diagnosed with lung cancer and we visited more often. We stayed for about three weeks in October. We spent our holidays in Florida with our children. Let me insert that our youngest son’s birthday is at the end of December, so we wanted to be home for that. Plus, he had his wisdom teeth removed on his birthday. Bummer!

Down For the Count

In January of 2012, Daddy fell for about the third time. This time, he shattered his hip and had to have surgery to repair it. We rushed to south Alabama to be there with him and with Sis and Bub. Daddy was in so much pain, we were relieved to have his hip repaired.

Daddy did so well after the surgery. He was a real trouper, never complained, worked hard at his physical therapy, and within a short time, he was up and walking just a bit, but spent most of his time in a wheel chair. We went up to Alabama to see Daddy about three weeks after his surgery. We were sitting in the lobby area of the facility. The big Christmas tree was still there and decorated. It brought a sense of peace and hope and joy to the residents and visitors.

Daddy kept looking at his watch and finally he told me he had to go to physical therapy. He was so eager to go and get better.

One Final Glance

But in my heart, I knew . . . just knew, that when Daddy went around that corner, and I stood at the door watching him travel down that long hallway, waving that one last time as he turned and looked back at me─I wouldn’t see him on this earth again. That was the end of January, 2012.  

On February 7, we got the call from the nursing home that Daddy would be going home to Jesus. There was no way to get there quickly. We packed our bags, and left first thing the next morning. By that time, Daddy had stepped from this world into the arms of his Savior. The One he loved the most. The One he shared with everyone he met. The One he lived, day by day.

I’d give anything to share just one more minute with either of my parents. Mama passed away December 13, 1996. She was far too young to be leaving us.

If you are trying to decide whether to go or not to go, let me urge you─just go. You will never get that time back once it’s gone. You don’t want to live with regret of what-might-have-been. On the day that Mama died, we had planned to travel down to Ft. Myers where she and Daddy lived at the time. It was just a two-hour drive. But that phone call came at four o’clock in the morning. It came unexpectedly. There was no final hug, kiss, “I love you.” Not even the final glance and wave I had with Daddy.

So, don’t hesitate. Put the fur-babies in the kennel or get a house sitter who will take care of them. Take them with you. Then pack up the kids and go.

Time is Short

Time is short on this earth. Sometimes we don’t get second chances. I am so thankful that I have the blessed assurance of seeing Mama and Daddy again. What about you? Do you have that assurance? If you’ve never given your heart to Christ, get in touch with a friend, a local church, a family member, or you may get in touch with me. Any of us will be glad to share Jesus with you. It will be the best Christmas present ever.

Do you have plans to be with family for Christmas? Share your thoughts with us below.


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